“Holding space” is a phrase that gets used often, but rarely explained.
It does not mean fixing someone.
It does not mean absorbing their emotions.
It does not mean agreeing with everything they say.
And it certainly does not mean sacrificing yourself to make someone else comfortable.
Holding space is steadiness.
It is the ability to remain regulated while someone else is processing, grieving, deciding, or rebuilding. It is staying present without rushing to solve. It is listening without taking over. It is allowing emotion without amplifying it.
True space-holding requires boundaries. Without boundaries, it becomes overextension. Without regulation, it becomes emotional entanglement. Without clarity, it becomes advice-giving disguised as support.
For many women, the line between empathy and self-abandonment has been blurred. We were taught to care deeply, but not always taught how to care without depletion. We learned to be strong for everyone else, but not always how to be steady within ourselves.
Holding space, in its healthiest form, is different.
It means I trust your capacity.
It means I do not need to rescue you.
It means I can sit with discomfort without needing to control it.
It means your growth does not require my exhaustion.
In my own life, I had to learn this the hard way. I thought holding space meant carrying more. I thought it meant anticipating needs before they were spoken. I thought it meant softening myself to prevent conflict.
What I eventually learned is that real space-holding feels calm. It feels grounded. It feels structured. There is room for emotion, but not chaos. There is compassion, but also clarity.
At Grace Guidance, holding space is intentional. It is not dramatic. It is not performative. It is not about becoming someone’s emotional container.
It is about creating an environment where your nervous system can settle, where your thoughts can organize, and where your inner voice has room to be heard.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer each other is not advice.
It is regulated presence.
And when presence is steady, growth follows naturally.
I Invite you to reflect:
Where in your life are you holding space in a way that feels steady, and where might it be slipping into self-sacrifice?
Add comment
Comments